There are days I miss you
More than I’m willing to admit.
There are nights you keep me awake
Despite the fact that you’re not there.
I often wish you were clairvoyant.
Because if you could read my mind
You wouldn’t have left, or at the very least
You wouldn’t have said what you said.
You would not have told me how
Truly insignificant you think I am.
You would have heard your words
And instead of malice tainting your tone
You would have said it all softly.
So your words would have broken my fall.
It would have been easier
Had you chosen kindness.
It would have unwound me gently
Instead of spiralling me out of control.
My pain would not have been
Quite so deep as it is.
But perhaps had that been your choice
I would not have been so quick to forgive.
I would have been angrier.
I would not reacted so meekly.
Because of your anger
My thought pattern shifted,
From anger to sorrow, because
I never noticed the hardness budding up in you.
Now wrath has no place in my heart.
I can not possibly blame it all on you.
I did not notice what was missing,
We would not have ended had I been paying attention.
You needed me, you needed honesty.
You needed love and care and attention.
Instead I fell deeply into myself
And let everything else fall apart.
No apologies can fix it, I know.
But I can tell you, in this small way,
I’ve learned my lesson, earned my scars
For the ones I’ve delt, and I will never hate you for this.
So sorry for not having any bit of my story posted yet. Life has been too busy once again. But here is another piece of on the fly poetry written on a 15 min break at my day job. Enjoy all the sappyness of it.